Accelerated Experience

“A child of 3 comes to us like a new human being” Maria Montessori. What we do during the 1st two years will help him to shape his potentials but he does not know yet how to use them: his voice, limbs etc. It has nothing to do with character building or discipline. They do not follow structure the way we understand it. They are exploring all that is given to them, it is important for him to get it off his system, or he will not feel he is growing.

This is not deviance: it is a sort of deviation from the norm, which to us is the human person we want our kids to become. Patience, understanding and empathy help to reach out to a 3 year old who is constantly demonstrating zest for learning and experience. When we have the faith in him to grow at his own pace, he will calm down because he starts to feel he has the attention. It does not matter at this point what you have to do to help him listen to you. Our first step is calm ourselves down when our 3 year old toddler misbehave.

In a classroom setting, 3 year old kids have reportedly taken as long as 3 months to overcome separation anxieties and settle down for classes. Teachers have to literally carry the child to the mat to join the rest of his friends during circle time, and teachers do this repetitiously to demonstrate (not tell) the child, that is what is expected of him when we sing to the class “Everybody sit down sit down, just like me.”

Punishment or reward will not help a child to grow out of this phase. To him, he is just like us, a human being with the same potentials which he needs to use at his own will. We want him to be independent yet a deviant child shows his desire to be independent in the best way he can.

The simplest solution to deal with 3 year old kids who do not seem to behave, is to prepare a stress release corner. This is a retreat not an isolation chamber. Here the child gets to release his boredom and stress doing mindless activities like playdough, cutting, chopping, pressing or hitting on drums. Make use of recycled materials and do not leave sharp objects unattended. He should be allowed to use a pair of scissors and shown how to handle it too. A 10 minute lesson goes a long way in educating child the importance of handling a pair of scissors than an hour of nagging about who is to be blamed for not noticing the child is holding one in his hand.

Tags: anger, toddler